Writing an obituary for a friend is a particular honor. Unlike family, friendship is chosen — and that choice says something important about who they were and what they gave to the people around them.
If you're writing the obituary on behalf of the family, make sure you have their input and approval before finalizing. If you're writing a personal tribute, clarify what role it will play — memorial program, online tribute, or remembrance. Get the family's blessing either way.
You don't have to write as a neutral observer. If you were close, the obituary can reflect that. A line that acknowledges how long you knew each other and what it meant honors both of you.
Loyalty, humor, the ability to show up — friendship has its own specific qualities. Name what your friend brought to friendship specifically. What made people want to be around them?
An obituary is a full portrait, not just the part of their life you shared. Include their career, their family, their other passions and communities. Let the full person show.
Begin with their full name, age, where they lived, and the date they passed. Then move into what made them who they were — their life's work, their family, their character. The opening line sets the tone for everything that follows.
Most obituaries run 200–500 words. For newspaper placement, shorter is often necessary due to per-word costs. Online obituaries have no limit. Write as much as it takes to honor them — no more, no less.
Start with facts: name, dates, where they lived, who they're survived by. Then ask yourself what you would want a stranger to know about them. What would you tell someone who never got to meet them? That answer is usually the heart of the obituary.
Yes — with the family's knowledge and approval. In some cases, a close friend is the right person to write the obituary, especially if they knew the person in ways the family didn't. Always coordinate first and make sure what you write has their approval before it's published.