Writing your own obituary is one of the most thoughtful things you can do for the people who will one day have to say goodbye to you. It lets you tell your own story, in your own words — and it relieves your family of a difficult task during a hard time.
The people who will write your obituary after you're gone will do their best — but they won't know everything. They'll leave things out, not out of carelessness, but because they simply didn't know. Writing it yourself ensures the things that matter most to you are included.
Grief is exhausting. Writing an obituary while grieving is one of the harder tasks a family faces. Doing it yourself — leaving a completed draft or even just the key facts — is a practical act of love that lightens their load when it will matter most.
Your obituary can be formal or conversational, serious or humorous, brief or extensive. It should sound like you. If you were funny, let it be funny. If you were private, keep it close to the facts. This is your story — tell it your way.
A document no one can find doesn't help anyone. Store your obituary draft with your will, your estate documents, or somewhere your family or executor will know to look. Tell at least one person it exists.
Begin with your full name, age, and where you lived. Then move into what made you who you were — your life's work, your family, your character. The opening line sets the tone for everything that follows.
Most obituaries run 200–500 words. For newspaper placement, shorter is often necessary due to per-word costs. Online obituaries have no limit. Write as much as it takes to honor yourself — no more, no less.
Start with facts: name, dates, where you lived, who you're survived by. Then ask yourself what you would want a stranger to know about yourself? What would you tell someone who never got to meet you? That answer is usually the heart of the obituary.
No more morbid than writing a will. It's practical, thoughtful, and a gift to the people who love you. Many people find the process clarifying — a chance to reflect on what actually mattered and how they want to be remembered.
Either works. Traditional obituaries use third person ("She spent forty years..."). Some people prefer first person ("I was born...") for a more personal feel. Choose what sounds like you.