Writing an obituary for your mother means trying to put into words someone who may have been the center of everything. It's an act of love, and it doesn't have to be perfect — it just has to be true to who she was.
Mothers often have a quality that's hard to name — a way of making people feel seen, fed, held, or simply at home. Describe that quality specifically rather than generically. "She always had the coffee on" says more than "she was warm."
She had a childhood, a young adulthood, dreams, and a story that began before your family did. Include where she grew up, what she was passionate about, what her life looked like before and beyond motherhood. It rounds out the portrait.
Whether she worked outside the home or devoted herself fully to family, both are equally worthy of recognition. Name specifically what she gave her time to — and what she was good at.
If faith was central to who she was, name it specifically — the congregation, the choir, the Sunday school class she taught for twenty years. These details honor the community she was part of.
Begin with their full name, age, where they lived, and the date they passed. Then move into what made them who they were — their life's work, their family, their character. The opening line sets the tone for everything that follows.
Most obituaries run 200–500 words. For newspaper placement, shorter is often necessary due to per-word costs. Online obituaries have no limit. Write as much as it takes to honor them — no more, no less.
Start with facts: name, dates, where they lived, who they're survived by. Then ask yourself what you would want a stranger to know about them. What would you tell someone who never got to meet them? That answer is usually the heart of the obituary.
An obituary doesn't require you to resolve complicated feelings. You can honor what was true and meaningful without pretending the relationship was something it wasn't. Focus on her life, her impact on others, the things that defined her. That is enough.